Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Saying “no” was so painful for me not long ago. Someone would ask and I immediately felt the pull of obligation to comply. I learned this behavior when I was a child…to say “yes.” It started with childhood friends, teenaged crowds, co-worker cliques, and especially family. I became accustomed to just doing what was asked. Becoming a doormat wasn’t my idea of fun, but it did satisfy my deep desire to be accepted and loved. What I didn’t realize was that it was also contributing to my inability to move, grow and develop my own sense of myself.

Saying yes to almost everything created a weariness in my soul that I could never rest from. But recently, in the last year or so, I had a significant disappointment in my life that shook my core. The ease with which I was asked to compromise my standards in a situation, by someone I had previously trusted, was deplorable. I was inwardly insulted, disappointed and said “no” before my brain could process it. The person who brought the request to me was, to say the very least, surprised. They had never actually had me respond negatively or so quickly before. I was surprised, too. Not being used to just saying “no,” both shocked and freed me. It was an epiphany moment. One that changed how I approach what other people need, and how their needs may effect me.

In Matthew 5:37 (ESV), the scripture is clear about assessing a situation, deciding on a course of action, and living with the outcome. It says, “let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” What I have learned from this is that people and situations will always try to put demands on you. You are only required to do what is right, expedient and just to the best of your ability. Even if in doing so, your answer must be “no.”

Blessings…vw1.